The beauty called NOTHING!

 I’d been given the task of writing an article which would be at least close to, if not as good as, entertaining today’s fast-paced-micro-blogging-addicted crowd. So in my mind I had my task cut out for me- To be able to write something which sets the trend of awesomeness to maintain the cool quotient of our oh-so-cool blog.

Finally, after days of thinking and introspecting and with a great amount of help from my fellow limes, I’m happy to say I came up with… *drum roll please* …NOTHING!!!  Yes, that’s right I drew up a blank. For the first time in my life I’ve truly come to appreciate the complexities of our mind. In our whole day, the entire 86400 seconds that we breathe, our mind is filled with a million thoughts of varied topics ranging from what you feel like eating today to terrorism to sex to contemplating if you want to shit right now or not. Now, with these many number of interesting topics to dwell on, you’d imagine that finding a topic to write a piece on should be easy. Wrong. I thought that way too until I finally sat down to write and realized that suddenly all that frenzied activity going on in my upper storey 24/7 has come to a standstill! I said, “Aww c’mon brain! Don’t you have some priorities? This is important. I really need you to do the lucky draw thingy and come up with a nice and lovely topic on which I can write nice and lovely stuff”. Now you’d think your own brain would at least listen to what you say, if not what others say. But guess what, mine had apparently gone on a vacation.

There I was stuck in my bed trying to think up something interesting to write. Why stuck in my bed, you ask? Well, it’s nothing much really. I’ve fractured my vertebrae so I’m confined to my bed at the moment. You see, I’m a swimmer and at the end of one of my training sessions, the spirit of the devil himself entered my body and made me do a head-first dive with the sole aim of hitting my head onto the pool floor. Or so I’d like to believe. I mean, c’mon what else explanation is there? Who else would do something as stupid and foolish as this? Not me, for sure. So I’ve concluded that it was someone else altogether, something very evil, that made me do it.

As I was saying, here I am stuck in my bed trying to give my brain, if not my body, some exercise. I keep thinking and thinking and thinking. And it’s with great pleasure I can say that my efforts finally paid off. True story- I had a divine intervention of sorts with thy holy Barney Stinson himself coming up before me and gave me the most awesomest piece of advice. And it’s only on his advice that I finally decided to write on nothing.

You see friends, nothing is nothing but a state of mind wherein we think we’re thinking nothing but in reality we’re thinking of nothing which makes us think of something. Therefore, nothing equals to something. Therefore when we say nothing, we’re actually saying something. When we say we’re feeling nothing, guess what, we’re actually feeling something! This theory is brilliant, isn’t it? I personally feel this discovery of mine deserves a mention in the Speaking Tree at least, if not the front page of The Times Of India. I’d say I’m exceptional and take the entire credit for this discovery but you see I’m not such a lowlife. I’d like to thank my laptop and my bed that have supported me throughout this discovery and helped me in getting it across to you guys.

Now that we’re done here I’d like to say the smart readers would have noticed that in the entire write-up I’ve spoken of basically nothing. I’ve thrown around a few big words; a few smart lines here and there and made up the entire article. It is like a huge present which has been beautifully wrapped with extremely glossy and attractive paper and then you open it only to find a frikkin’ completely dried ink- not working- pen. Yes, it’s like that with most of us too. We say a lot of beautiful and interesting things which actually mean nothing. Case in point, politicians, world leaders, and… ummm some more politicians. I’m not thrashing politicians here, mind you. In fact I’m appreciative of their ability to make a complete fool out of us by saying a lot and meaning nothing. It is an art, guys, and one which cannot be acquired even with a lot of practice. You need constant and diligent efforts, determination, dedication and an immense focus in order to master this art.

To those of you not-so-smart readers, if you have actually managed to make sense of what you’ve read above and learnt something from it, hats off to you guys. You have managed to do something that even I could not. Keep up the good work.

That’s all I have to say for now. Thank you to those who’ve read this for bearing with me. A no-thank you to those who’ve not yet read it and worse not even visited our blog (seriously, I can’t believe such people even exist!). I hope that the next time I sit down to write something I come up with nice and lovely topics on which I can write nice and lovely stuff but till then I’m sure you’ll make-do with what we have here Ciao.

-LekhaKamath

  follow Lekha on http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=529645864

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50 comments

    1. awesome job girl. i loved it! keep it up!! the article is exactly all about you,they way ur are. AWESOME N AMAZING!! ;*

  1. Hey. . . Lovely article. . . Really a nice n lovely work. . . Excellent use of vocabulary and nice way of mixing up word’s which sound’s really cool and i enjoyed reading it. . . Once again really appreciating ur work. . . Great. . Keep up the good work. . .

    Regard’s..
    Sufi. .

  2. hm…well..i luvd d usage of nothing everywhere.. 😉 but ya..actually speaking..gud job..liked it 😀 🙂 🙂

  3. it was a really nice blog!! it was sumthin different.. n it was pretty gud!! keep up d gud work!! n waitin for ur next blog LEKHA!!

  4. Gr8 lekha….u hav practically written about NOTHING,but send out a nice msg, ur language and imagination is quite bold,hope u keep writing…always nice to find an agnelite doin something different…even m thinkin of startin a blog…but never get a starting pt…so knw how it feels to find a topic 4 a blog

    1. thank you so much for the feedback pravish! by the way, if you’re interested you can write for our blog too haan.. we have a monthly article by a guest writer.. let me know if you’re interested

  5. woody…awesssoooomeeee….. !!! actually i love the shit part of it!! wah re…. write a novelll….! n i wil b the frst one to read…!!!

    1. hahahaha thanks alot fariha.. i’m glad you liked it.. you having read it itself means alot.. and yes, if i know for sure you guys will read it, i’ll definitely write a book in the future.. after all i love writing 🙂

  6. Maybe not being able to sit up, brought in a lot of NOTHING into your brain. Else, theres Gravity to keep it down!
    You’re good….with words…Could try to be in this line….till you can try your stunt again!!!

  7. Such a smartiepants you are, I’m smart and everything that you’ve written makes sense but I love the way you’ve tried to confuse people 😛 Great way of killing time, looking forward to more posts!

    PS – It was YOU, YOU’RE stupid for doing what you did but if it gives me the pleasure of reading this, I can cut you some slack.

    1. hahahaha thanks ad! i’m so happy you liked it
      PS- i know it was me but blaming it on something else makes me feel a little better 😛
      PPS- i finally got around to replying to everyone. thanks for the push 🙂

  8. Its gr8 lekha…after reading tht…I had deeper understanding about the concept of ‘nothing’…! 😛

  9. jus by saying u have NOTHING to say u managed to say a lot of things!!
    I would jus describe dis article as “sheer awesomeness” 🙂
    keep up d good work woody 😛

    1. hahaha thank you so much haarika! it had to be awesome as it was inspired by the most awesome character ever- barney stinson. i’m glad you liked it and you keep enjoying all my posts 🙂

  10. jus by saying u have NOTHING to say u managed to say a lot of things!!
    I would jus describe dis article as “sheer awesomeness” 🙂
    keep up d good work woody 😛

  11. hey Lekha…nice one…first of all i dint understand anything then i understood u were not talking anything…nice wite up..:)..!

  12. so after reading this m practically left wid NOTHING to say…:)) but the article does make me feel connected in some way… Do keep writing Lekhaji..!!! Waiting to read ur next blog.

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