Two Enemies, two Friends

Franklin swore under his breath.

He was seated in the cafeteria, his coffee barely as hot as his temper. Hands were curled into fists, his eyes were focused on a distant wall. There was a general babble originating from the other students of the universities

Footsteps approached, resounding into the emptying hall. It was Johnathan. Only his feet could run as slow as that. Franklin whispered, “That fuck-face!” under his breath.

A loud sliding sound, followed by a couple of crashes of steel and grating chairs. Franklin turned. He rolled his eyes, watching Johnathan trying to get up from the mess of trays and furniture that he had blatantly run into.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Franklin said.

“I need to talk to you, friend!”

“Oh, com’on! There is nothing left to talk. You ruined shit for me, man And no…not even me, for the entire team. This is ridiculous. And, please, don’t call me your friend.”

“I know,” Johnathon smiled. Only he could smile in the middle of a tornado. He is that retarded pig of a friend.

“What do you know?”

He scratched his head, “Not sure…Can I get a banana from the counter? I’ll be right back.”

Johnathan closed his eyes, taking a sharp breath. He wished he could go home, get a bottle of whiskey and smash it over his head. But he couldn’t enter inside. He had lost his keys.

“What a horrible horrible day…what a horrible week.”

“So what’s up?” Johnathan had returned, half a banana sticking up his mouth, his nostrils flaring open, revealing the twin black holes.

“Get out of my sight.”

“Oh, right!” Johnathon pulled half the soft fruit from his mouth, “I almost forgot what I was hear for. Dude, we gotta talk!”

“About what?”

“About that day! Look, I know you are little angry.”

Franklin raised his right eyebrow, almost losing it in his hair, a maze of light brown.

“Okay…a little too angry. But let me explain.”

“How many times do I let you explain, John? This is the third time you have ditched me and the entire crew! We lost the play because we were depending on you. How on earth do you expect Romeo and Juliet to happen if Romeo doesn’t show up at all!”

“Seriously? Couldn’t you guys like…what’s the word? Yea, improvise?”

“Are you even for real?”

“Yup! But listen. I was all ready to show up! That day…no kidding, bro. I took bath, twice with the body-shower gel, that can also be used as a shampoo. But I didn’t use it on my hair that day, my hair would get sloppy…not that it matters right now. Anyway…and then, mother fell sick. She got that thing…which can really screw with your head! Like she went nuts…almost broke things…what is it called?”

Franklin shrugged, “Schizophrenia?”

“No, you freak. Headache. That’s what she got!”

“Right.” Franklin pursed his lips.

“So I had to hail Mrs. Knockednees and get her to take my mother to the hospital. By the time I reuturned, I found two burglars in my house!” Johnathan lowered his voice, “One of them was a Mexican in my opinion. Kept eyeing the microwave.”

“This is loads of bullshit! Why should I believe you?”

“This bull-feces is true, man! You can call my mother and check the newspapers. Her headache was reported in The Times and the burglars were taken to the hospital…no wait. I think I mixed up a little. But anyway, do you wanna talk to my mother?”

“Yea, no…your mother? I’ll pass.”

“And then you ignored all my texts for the next three days. I know you hate me, and I’m sorry! You don’t deserve such filth as a friend. But please don’t stop talking, man. Shit sucks.”

Franklin chewed the inside of his cheek, “So is it really true?”

“YES! My mum did feel sick and my house was almost emptied.”

“No…I meant the shower. Did you really wash yourself twice with the body-shower gel?”

Johnathan nodded, “Palmolive, my friend, you probably can still smell the Peach Vanilla on me.”

“I’ll pass that as well.”

“But, if it helps, you should know that I took that shower only because you asked me to. That face you make is a turn off, both to women and cows.”

“I can’t believe you did something so drastic, just for me!” Franklin steps up near Johnathan, “You notorious filth of a friend.”

Johnathan pushed the banana up his mouth, chewing, “Thotallly”

Franklin slapped his back, “Have you got your wallet?”

“Yea, duh.”

“Cool! Let me take a look and then go get a couple of beers. I’ll buy them…for you.”

Shaun D’souza

follow me on @hunchbackdsouza


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