How Not To Get Those Pearly Whites

Here is a great (and slightly disgusting) post about William sharing his tooth brushing techniques. A very endearing tale, most likely to inspire you to point a barrel to your forehead.

P.S. William also happens to suffer from the Foot and Mouth disease, often diagnosed in Canadian cows. Now THAT is a better story that he should share.

Read Post Here.


The Last Words Of A Serial Killer

Surprisingly the blood didn’t spurt. There was where it happened – In the corner of a dimly lit alleyway, by an old swimming pool. The smell of chlorine wafting through the warm summer air.
I stood, she lay. And in my head I did a quick replay – of all that had commenced since the death of my wife had sliced though the jugular of Miss Janice Mellar.
Everything had gone according to plan – until the blood hadn’t chosen to spurt.
Awkwardly the moments stood before me – anti climatic. Although the measures these days to commit these crimes were less drastic.
The list of women whose flesh had tasted my blade isn’t much elaborate. Martha Swinston, Cassie Munro, 14-year-old Helen Swazniq, Isha Dunham, Michelle Mossburg and my dear ladies and gentlemen, Janice Mellar.
Although the last on there was the most stellar. In looks and victimology. Meh.321629_239534822756483_2480481_n
Yet surprisingly, oh-dear-god, the blood didn’t spurt!
Now don’t look at me miss with those accusing eyes. I completely understand, but it is this numbing remorselessness lately that has grabbed my senses. Neuroscientists say ‘haha’ that I have issues with my serotonin.
All I can say, Doctor, is that I just cannot take it in.
There are times when I have to hide and stay low. A ruthless man, by the name Detective Crossbow, is looking for the Jugular Killer. You see, he doesn’t enjoy the popularity of people like me.
It is this madness sometimes that dazzles my every bone, certified from the classic psychopathic tendencies that I have shown – where murder is my only sexual getaway and release, and the gap between my artistic acts is starting to decrease.
But don’t you take another breath, because what I felt…when the blood from her paling body did not spurt. It was a revelation; heavens were opening up to listen, while I stood by the swimming pool dirt.
My name is Alfred Kevins, and dear Janice, haven’t you figured out still? I am not the man with whom you will sleep tonight. For I am, ‘drum rolls’, a killer! A murderous victim to all theories of lust, paraphilia, distraught development and ill sociological conditions!
And even though the Scooby Doo and Gang would call me devilishly charming, sometimes the skin I live in…has me alarming.
I may have a soul, but I am never going to be a soldier, dear mother. I am in too deep in sin.
Surprisingly the blood didn’t spurt, as the blade ran one last time, cutting through my skin.

– Shaun D’souza
(I study forensics, play beats with my fingers
and sometimes take a nap.)

Say hi to me @hunchbakdsouza

Ten Things To Do Before NaNoWriMo

Ten more days to NaNoWriMo! How do you feel? Excited? Overwhelmed? I haven’t YET thought about NaNoWriMo. My University exams go on until the 14th of November and I am half sure of pulling off this year. For now. he he he!
So I brainstormed ten things to do before tackling November:

  1. Consider your story:

    Even before considering the novel itself, you may need to think a little about the story. You need something that can be written easily in 50,000 within thirty days. You do not want to complicate your choices by mixing too many story arcs or having very few of them. When I was considering my novel last year, I considered writing a rom-fantasy novel, agreeing that it was easier to flesh out a story arc, that is the beginning middle and end, for a romantic plot.

  2. Have a Story:

    This is where you initially plan your story. Consider the plot, what point of view do you want it in. Write down a basic summary of your story.

  3. Break Down your Story into Respective Chapters:

    Once you have a story and a list of characters in mind, break down the plot into chapters. Ideally, one would consider having about twenty-five chapters, allotting two thousand words to each of them.

  4. Setting up a schedule:

    Possibly the hardest part of all. You need to write a date against each chapter, and try to stick to the schedule as much as possible!

  5. Inform your friends and family:

    Yep, announce to the world that you will be unavailable for a month. There is a novel to conspire!

  6. Stock up on Coffee:

    Goes without saying why.

  7. Tweet Tweet Tweet:

    Twitter was my best support system last year! There are people all over the world who are writing and will relate to any of the pickles you may be stuck in. Don’t hesitate to say a hi to anyone who is writing, both need the company. Also, the best part about twitter can be that it isn’t like a chat box. You can respond and ignore someone’s tweet when you wish.

  8. Do your Research:

    Because the novel needs to be conspiring in a month, you may not find the time to do hard-core research upon the various elements of your story. It is best to do that before hand. Make points, create your own literary bible, that can come handy and be referred to anytime.

  9. Read Books and Watch as much as TV as you can:

    Writing a novel in a month can be similar to being pushed onto the stage in front of an expecting audience. There may be times when you go blank. When you will have no clue about what a character would say, or how you can describe clouds in the sky differently. Hence, it is important that you are exposed to as much content as possible, so that you may have some source to back up on. Be exposed.

  10. Learn to Relax:

    Writing is a skill. If you feel it doesn’t come naturally to you, then it will eventually. The most important and the significant part of NaNoWriMo is to have fun, gain experience and build on inspiration. You need to learn to accept whatever that may come your way during November as it may get tricky along the way. The pressure you feel is not worth the stress you maybe putting yourself under.

Those are my ten preparatory steps before a WriMo. Have you got some more? Do share. And let’s give the world the pleasure of your novel.

– Shaun D’souza
(I study forensics, play beats with my fingers
and sometimes take a nap.)

Say hi to me @hunchbakdsouza